Today I went back his house.. Clearing some of my stuffs there. While I was clearing, I opened up a box you kept all the letters and diary we wrote over the years.. Glad I didn't cry anymore. I think I had already slowly let go.. It's like no point right? Because I know myself you don't even love me as much compared to the past already.. Your feeling had already starting to fade.. No matter how hard I tried to ask you stay, you won't. I can't denied that I don't miss. I miss you. I miss everything. But.. now it can only be kept in the heart.
Even if i had the chances to be back with you, the feeling won't be same anymore. You won't be the same anymore. I can only be positive and smile to face everything. Yes! It's freaking 8 years, not easy to move on. But, i had to. Because life goes on. Maybe we will be happier this way. This is the most I can think of to stay positive? This 8 years of relationship, we grew up. Our thinking mindset started to change.. I had lost. Lost in size, look and everything. HAHAHA. But well.. I gotta accept the facts. Despite being fats in my life, you still love me and accept me. But human grew. I knew. I accepted. We had too much, too much to remember. But it will nvr be erased. Always kept somewhere in my heart.
The only thing i can do now.. Give you a break, long break? I am telling myself you won't be back anymore.. I don't wanna have fake hope. Please take care. Be safe, be happy, be healthy. Find your love of your life soon..
I'll always miss you, J
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